Saturday, 10 February 2018

"Mum, just get me exempted from Chinese."

#5 started failing Chinese in Primary 4 and he had absolutely no interest in the subject.

On hindsight, his weak foundation started in preschool. I had placed him in a Montessori in our neighbourhood. It was run by an Indian national and as most of his classmates were expat children the Chinese teachers spoke English to them. We did not suspect that he was not picking up much Chinese as he was able to read the readers he took home. They had complex words like "mangosteen", "durian", "grapes", "monkey", "elephant" etc and we were impressed! I have since realised that it was because he saw those complicated words with many strokes as a picture and memorised them as an image.

When #5 entered P1, his classmates were rattling off Mandarin verses while everything seemed new to him. His Chinese started off in the 80-90 range but as his foundation was not strong his grades begun to slide year after year as the syllabus became tougher.

I tried hiring a private tutor but none worked out. He has a short attention span and is difficult to teach. Moreover, the native Chinese teachers were strict and did not spend time building rapport with him.

I did not panic yet as my older girls managed to score As despite not having much external tuition and assumed that he would eventually buck up. What I did was to hire a tutor to read to them stories in Mandarin for an hour a week since their grandparents did not speak the language.

After his P4 year-end exams, I had a talk with him and asked him what should we do about it. I was intending to work out a study schedule with him and was taken aback by his response. "Mum, just apply to let me drop Chinese."

I pretended not to know what he was referring to, and he elaborated. "Some of my friends are exempted yet their Chinese is even better than mine! I'm sure I can get exempted too." I was shocked that he had this mentality as we have never spoken about the topic of exemption before.

I explained that his classmates must have some sort of learning disability, hence the exemption.

"No, they are normal. Why don't you ask their mums how they did it?"

When I checked with friends and kids from various different schools, it surprised me how an elite school like theirs seem to have a disproportionately high percentage of exemptions. Many parents knew about this "loophole" and had lots of advice for me. No certainty of getting an A/A* for Chinese? Better to drop one laggard and protect their overall aggregate, which also leaves more time to concentrate on the other 3 subjects. If you can afford it, why not give it a try? Brilliant strategy, until it seemed like MOE started moderating the number of exemptions they granted.

It was a tempting backdoor, but I didn't want to send the wrong message to my kids. If you are not good at something, instead of pressing on and trying your best, let's find a way to wriggle out of it. And I was afraid that after going through all those sessions of testing, what might he think? Maybe there really is something wrong with me.

I have to admit that I did consider that option for #5. I spoke to the hubs and in his characteristic straight way told me, "What are you thinking? He is a bright boy and there is nothing wrong with him. Are you letting him take the easy way out? Find him a good tutor. All he needs is to put in much more effort. I'll give him a good pep talk."

I'm glad he had swiftly put a stop to it, and ended my dilemma of taking the big step to get him tested.

That was in P4 and I did not think about it again until now.

Looking at his devastating P5 results, the reality sunk in, and my fears were heightened. What if there really is cause for concern and my child had a genuine difficulty in picking up Chinese? It would be unfair to him to let this slide.

I finally made the decision to send him for an assessment.

On the way there, it suddenly occurred to me that this cheeky boy might intentionally get it wrong because he badly wanted to be exempted from Chinese.

I told him, "Make sure you do your best. Don't think that by getting it all wrong will you get an exemption."

He thought for awhile then said, "How will she know?"

I told him that it is not easy to get an exemption and it has to be shown that he is capable of learning the other subjects but not Chinese."

Sometime after that session, I went for the consultation and the psychologist told me that there might be grounds for exemption and a few more rounds of testing were needed to further assess and substantiate his learning disabilities. He would also need to be referred to a practitioner in another field for further assessment.

However, what was puzzling was that his results had a great disparity in a few components which tested the same aspects.

Strange as it sounded, I was glad to know that he may have some issues and could be exempted!

When I told him that the results were out, he beamed, "So how? I got exempted right? I purposely did one whole page of questions wrongly! And when she was testing the numbers, I jumbled them up." He was jumping around excitedly.

I stared at him. Goodness. That explained the huge variances in his scores!

He had figured out which bits to do right and which bits to do wrong in relation to learning Chinese.

I was mad.

Then I calmed down and thought about it. In his juvenile mind, that was his goal.

For a few moments, I was conflicted. Should I let him go ahead with the next rounds of testing, knowing that he would likely foul it up, and perhaps have a chance at exemption? I can't believe how desperate I was to "help" him.

But I would be reinforcing that he can try to think up ways to outsmart the system instead of putting in effort to work on his challenges.

The answer was clear.

I told him: You know what? The results show that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your brain nor your learning ability. In fact, you are a bright boy and you will have no problems learning Chinese if you put your mind to it. I will take you to your Aunt every weekend for tuition and she will help you improve.

Strangely, he accepted the conclusion, as though he had given it his best shot but now that avenue was shut.

I explained to the psychologist what #5 had admitted, and we decided it was best to end the testing there.

Even though he is starting from ground zero at P6, this will be a hard lesson he will have to learn.

He will have to find it in him to fight this battle, tough as it may be. And I will not succumb to letting him take the easy way out, but to stick with it.

The good news is that his Chinese teacher has given me feedback that his attitude has improved tremendously this year and he is putting in a lot of effort.

She sent me a message on Class Dojo:

"He has put in a lot of effort this week and was able to pronounce the words when I went through revision. Everyone was truly happy for him and I took the opportunity to praise him. He is starting to show interest and I think that is a very important step. As long as he continues this good attitude towards learning, I believe he will improve."

I am so thankful for his teacher and her willingness to walk the extra mile with him to encourage him. It feels like we're all in this together!

We have set a realistic goal of achieving a Pass for his PSLE.

I know I made the right decision.

PSLE Diaries
No more T-score. Now what?
PSLE results: Good or Bad, what do you say?
My 5th PSLE child - My son

~ -  A blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Sunday, 21 January 2018

My 5th PSLE child - My Son

Somehow, I feel like a new PSLE mum. After #1, it was more or less the same with the next 3 girls as they were on auto-pilot and there was no need to micro-manage their school work.

For #5, after a horrific showing at his P5 year-end results, I need to monitor him closely this year. We gave him a serious pep talk and I think the severity of the exams have sunk in. At least a little.

It helps a lot that there is the Class Dojo app, a lifesaver for parents like me with a boy who is still not getting with the system at P6. I can easily send any of his teachers a quick check-in text and vice versa, and follow up on the reminders they post almost daily.

So far, he seems to be pretty upbeat and on top of things and he has been putting in effort and handing up all his homework on time. I was most glad to hear from his Chinese teacher that he is trying hard but Chinese is still a subject he really struggles with. His aunt has taken on the very daunting task of tutoring him and we hope that he is able to lift himself from a miserable ungraded mark to at least a pass this year.

We attended the talk by the Principal last weekend and 2 things caught my attention.

One was the flip classroom model whereby students are to be more initiated and learn at home via Google Classroom so that when they come to class, there is more time for discussions and customised learning (whatever that means in a class of 40).

I was pleasantly surprised to hear of this transformation from the traditional method to one where there will be more opportunities for discussion and individualized attention. I was wondering if my other kids are also using it as they have never mentioned it before and asked them at dinner. My older girls giggled to themselves and tried to explain to me that it is nothing fantastic. "Mum, it's the same as google docs. Everyone can see the lesson and questions. That's all."

Oh. I thought it was some kind of interactive online learning portal from the way it was explained at the talk. 2 of them have been using google classrooms, in poly and in sec 1, while the other 2 girls in sec 4 and JC 2 have not come across this as yet. I guess it will be rolled out in all schools soon enough.

Let's see if this new method is effective, though I wish the students had more time to get used to it before the PSLE year.

The other thing which I was dismayed to hear, was the Principal explaining that this year the focus has shifted from quantity to quality, that there is no point piling them with a whole load of extra work with no real understanding.

This was the exact feedback I gave to the Level Head 2 years back after #4's PSLE. Many students from her class and the next class fared between 180 and 220 which is disappointing for a top school, and we parents were lamenting how many of them were burnt out from doing stacks of past year papers yet there was not enough time for the teachers to go through with them the corrections to learn from their mistakes.

Yes, I'm glad they take our feedback seriously, but why does it seem like it's still a matter of trial and error. It was disconcerting to know that there isn't a solid system to prepare the cohort well for the national exams.

I've seen this swing in my other kids' previous primary school as well. If there was an alarming case the year before, there would be a call to step down on the PSLE workload given to the point where up till March, she still had almost no homework at all until I explained to her teachers that she did not have extra tuition outside and her teachers gave her individual homework.

The more I go through the PSLE with different kids having their own learning footprints, the more I feel a better way of sorting them at 12 is needed.

The kids are stressed, the parents are stressed, the teachers are stressed. I honestly can't tell who is the most stressed!

I'm not overly bothered about the grade he will eventually get for his PSLE (yes, I've reached this stage after going through too many PSLEs) but it is sad that for a child like #5 who is creative, bright, and able to think out of the box, but weak in Chinese and not keen on memorizing key words and composition formats, he may very well end up in the technical stream which is not suitable for him.

I can totally understand many parents' fear and drive to push their children to accumulate awards and do up impressive portfolios for DSA and such.

We need to relook this PSLE game.

Is it really achieving its objective about educating the next generation and sorting the kids suitably according to their natural aptitude and abilities into the different pathways or has it become a system gamed by the adults with our kids feeling like pawns?

There is no easy solution, but not addressing it head-on soon enough is like letting a bullet train derail at high speed.

~ - a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Tuesday, 2 January 2018

2018 - Can I run and hide?

2017 went by like lightning because work picked up momentum. I finally felt the weight of a working mum holding down 2 jobs. A busy work week, followed by an even busier weekend of seeing to the kids' needs. I was on a bullet train that couldn't stop.

After a nice, slow December, I am all rested and recharged. I have put Kate in childcare which took a load off my mind. Initially hesitant to move her at K2 as she was happy in her preschool but glad she managed to settle well today, with just a little bit of tears halfway through the afternoon. She missed her mummy, her old friends, and has to adjust to a new routine.

If 2017 was crazy, 2018 will be pure madness. Our student numbers have tripled and it's going to be an exciting run with my team of teachers this year.

On the home front, first of all, I have a PSLE child. After going through this 4 times, the PSLE is just another year to me. However, dealing with my boy is a whole different ballgame altogether. His Chinese has been deteriorating year after year and is now at a miserable 20/100. He used to enjoy Science and was scoring 80+ but failed his P5 SA2 exam paper. This was what he wrote:

Yes. The type of answers we laugh about on Facebook. When I questioned him, he explained the whole molting process and exclaimed, "Mum, such a tough life right?!" His imagination is that vivid. I went for a talk recently and the speaker was explaining how children can be categorized by their fingerprints and he called this group of kids Type R. Creative, full of original ideas, our future designers and architects, but constantly getting into trouble with teachers.


This requires a different tact from how I guided the girls, as I'm sure if I left him to his own devices, he will go through the week without any homework handed in nor relaying important messages from school.

His teachers said that a big part of his problem is his motivation, and we are scratching our heads on how to get him to buy into the idea of having to conform to the PSLE structure and memorizing appropriate key words for the sake of doing well in the exams so that he can go into a better school. This is something that baffles his immature 11-year old mind.

Thankfully, the older girls do understand the importance of the crucial years as the 3 of them are taking the O and A-level exams as well as Sec 2 streaming. I do worry though, that they don't get enough sleep and it will doubtlessly be a stressful year even without me putting any pressure on them.

As for #1, she is in a bit of a dilemma trying to decide what her next step should be. After 3 years in poly, she realised this is not where her passion lies, but her interest is veering towards design. She is unsure which aspect of it should she pursue, and several friends in this field have shared their own experiences as we are exploring whether to go for a degree, another diploma, or gain some experience working. Such a tough decision with no clear answers.

Academics aside, these teenage years are the hardest in our parenting journey. The influence of friends and social media is a big concern, along with raging hormones, doubts, self-esteem issues, being critical of everything, and their world view being starkly different from ours.

Sometimes after an exchange with the lot of them, I feel like I've come out of a battlefield. Parenting a bunch of teens is not for the faint-hearted.

When I stop and think about this coming year and how I'm going to fit everything in while setting aside enough time to guide this brood properly, it looks extremely overwhelming. You know, the deserted island in The Last Jedi? The notion of escaping is enticing. Being alone. In silence. Where no one can find me.

Ah well, it's nice to dream for a moment. But this is my reality, these, my responsibilities.

I am so thankful for little Kate.

She's the ray of light with her sunny disposition as she runs into my arms like a furball greeting me with an exuberant "Mummy!!"

Whether it is after a long day at work, or when a heavy issue is weighing on my mind, I can still smile.

When things seem impossible, I can only put my hand in God's hand and let go. By faith, I can find hope. I can find peace.

Rejoice always
Pray without ceasing
In everything, give thanks

Bring it on, 2018! I am ready :)

~ - A blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Friday, 15 December 2017

ECHA - The Mother of all Awards

I'm a proud mama. So very proud of #1 and #2.

All the prouder because they did it on their own.

We take them as they are and they know they never need to be top just to please us.

#2 mentioned being nominated for some award. I wasn't exactly sure what it was until the letter came in the mail.

You have been awarded the Edusave Character Award (ECHA). The ECHA is given up to 2% of students who have demonstrated exemplary character and outstanding personal qualities through their behaviour and actions.

WOW. 2%! That was quite something.
Well done, kids!
Glad we had kids way before any of our friends and were never bombarded with smiling faces and awards floating around social media making us feel inadequate.

It was a good 5 years after #1 started primary school that we first heard of such awards given out by MOE. That same year, 2 of them received awards and we were thrilled!

One was for good results being the top 25% of her cohort. But what surprised us even more was that the other child also received an award. She has always been weak academically even though she is very bright.

She's a kinesthetic learner and a curious questioner, which our education system is unable to develop and recognise. When she received a good progress reward, we all laughed, but it was wonderful that MOE gives out such a category to recognise the effort these children put in to further motivate them.

The kids turned it into a joke and quipped: next year, I will purposely do very badly for SA1 so that by SA2, I will have the greatest improvement!

Since that first award almost 10 years ago, they have received different awards for results, progress, leadership, Eagles, and the level of excitement has muted.

Until now.

We opened the letter with the MOE logo and #2 was overjoyed that she had clinched the ECHA award in JC1.

Now that is something else altogether. Not only is it accorded to the top 2% of the cohort, but hearing about the stringent selection process made me immensely proud of her.

First, she had to be nominated by her classmates and also her CCA mates. Crossing the peer hurdle is already a big deal when you are a teenager! Next, the nomination has to be approved by her own teachers and CCA teachers which says a lot as they are in class with you on a daily basis and everything from work attitude to conduct to punctuality is taken into consideration. Thereafter, she had to write not one, but two 500-word reflections on her education experience. Only then was she selected for a face to face interview with the panel of school leaders.

AND SHE MADE IT!! (I'm sure you can tell I'm still elated.)

Before our excitement abated, #1 came home beaming and showed us her cert. She has been placed on the Director's list! What better way to wrap up her 3 years in poly.

For her, the journey was tough. Over the course of the diploma, she realised that this was not her area of interest and some days she really couldn't sit through one more boring lecture. Yet she trudged on as I told her that no matter what, there is something to learn in any field and she should still put in good effort.

She has made it through her first diploma and I'm excited to see how the next few years unfold for her as we guide her to explore and narrow down her career choices.

For now, it's all smiles around here :)

~ - a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Thursday, 23 November 2017

PSLE Results: Good or Bad, what do you say?

2017 PSLE results will be released tomorrow. I was asked for my views for a CNA article, and what poured out was enough to write a whole post after going through this 4 times!

As the PSLE is the first major exam they face, we, as parents have an important role to frame this experience for them. How we guide them to view failure and success is crucial. Our children need to know that one failure does not define them; they can get up, dust themselves and try harder next year. If they have the resilience and tenacity, they will go far despite early failures.

Thus whether they do well or not, it is a window of opportunity to start talking to them about how they themselves feel about their achievements and what they did to get there. The discussion about the process is even more important than the end result of the grade.

I remember the day I collected my PSLE even though it was so long ago. My parents were not well educated and left us to handle our school life. They did not know when our exams were nor gave us any tuition or assessment books.

The day before the results were released, my dad who had never said much relating to school told me this: "No matter what, just come home. It's ok."

I didn't really know what he meant until the next day.

When we received our results, there were exuberant friends, crying friends and parents with grim faces.

My results were average, better in some subjects, worse in others. I didn't know what to feel, as there were friends who did much better and friends who did much worse.

What stuck with me the most, was that the aggregate itself didn't matter.

What mattered was that I could go home, not having to hang my head down or having to face the wrath of my parents. I knew they loved and cared about me, regardless of what was written on that paper in my hands. I felt safe. Several of my friends dreaded to go home, afraid of what their parents would say.

When I showed my parents my results, they acknowledged the good and the bad and told me simply to work harder next time.

These days, it is as much a PSLE mummy's journey as the child's, or perhaps there is even more at stake for mum. The time and money poured into sending them for tuition, having to face friends and neighbours who may be judging us or worries about our child going into an "undesirable" school.

But try to resist the urge to compare them to their siblings, label them as "lazy" or take it as an opportunity to unleash your pent-up emotions on them. I'll admit that I have done all of the above at various times with my 4 older kids. It's hard, but we have to restrain ourselves and not say things in the heat of the moment we might regret.

So what advice can I give to parents?

If your child has done badly, all the more, it is crucial for you to provide them with emotional support at a time when they are probably feeling lousy about themselves. They may have worked really hard, and are disappointed in their own grades. Or their close friends may have done well and are all celebrating and discussing exciting plans and looking forward to entering the schools of their choice. They may have cousins in the same year and relatives are patting them on the shoulder, telling them how smart they are or how wonderful they have done. It is not easy for a 12-year-old to experience and process all that is going on.

When one of my kids did badly for the PSLE, I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to scold her, "Watch some more TV la! Sleep late and don't concentrate in class!" My mind darted around, looking for things to blame - Our education system for being ridiculous in expecting all 12-year olds to be suitable for this narrow examination model, her teachers for focusing on quantity instead of quality, resulting in many of her classmates scoring between 180-210, the hubs for allowing her to watch Chinese drama with him and wasting precious time, our dog for her incessant barking, affecting her concentration. I had to exercise tremendous self-control and not rub salt into the wound as I knew she was already feeling awful.

There is no point in giving them a long "I told you so" lecture the day they get their results. Instead, take them out individually for a meal or an activity to show them that above all, you love them and value them, despite their result. Try to refrain from talking about the PSLE (I know it's hard!) unless they raise it. Then, when they open the conversation, go in for the kill! (just kidding). Talk to them about what they are thinking and feeling. They may be afraid of going to a new school all alone, especially if their group of friends all made it into the affiliated school. They may feel embarrassed, ashamed or upset that they have disappointed you.

Just imagine what they have gone through for the past year. All that stress, late nights studying, and expectations from parents and teachers, culminating in these 3 digits. Give them time and space to process their emotions. When they have come to terms with their results, you can move on to discuss how they can learn from this experience. What strategies worked for them and what did not, what are their areas of strengths and weaknesses.

For children who do well, it is also an opportunity to guide them. Acknowledge and celebrate with them if they had run the race and emerged triumphant! But instead of congratulating them as being a smart girl or boy, praise the specific effort and strategies which helped them to excel. #1 went from failing all 4 subjects at the end of P5 to scoring straight As in her PSLE. By putting in sustained effort and persevering despite the odds, it showed in her results. She was self-motivated and did 4 hours of Math practice almost daily, and went to her aunt's house every weekend to practice her Chinese Oral, going from being shy and having a limited vocabulary to being more confident about the language.

On the other hand, there are children who are able to ace our exams year after year either because their intelligence fits our education model or because they have been highly tutored. The danger comes when they move into higher education. Some children have never tasted failure, and when they do so, it could be at the A levels or University and they are unable to bounce back. Worse, they may go into depression or even attempt suicide because of self-imposed shame or despair as they are no more seen as being smart.

I was surprised but many bright kids I spoke to regret not putting in more effort and felt they were too complacent. Don't compare them to others saying things like, "Wow you did so much better than so and so." Instead, hold them to higher standards because they are capable of more. Tell them that you expect great things from them, and they should still strive to put in their best effort and achieve what you know they are capable of.

The PSLE may be over, but it is not the last exam or challenge they will have to face. It is in our hands to support and empower them to ready them for the next stage and beyond.

It's not going to be easy, but see it as an opportunity to help them take ownership of both their successes or failures. Good luck parents!

School Stories:

#1 - When your son gets into fights in school
#2 - My son the loan shark
#3 - So kids can't play once they start school?
#11 - How #2 topped her level in English
#12 - DSA. Yet another initiative parents have warped
#13 - Tuition - First line of attack?
#14 - Why do exams have to be so stressful?
#15 - First day mix up!
#16 - The day I forgot to pick my son from school
#17 - No more T-score. Now what?
#18 - Tackling the new school year
#19 - She did it, without tuition.
#20 - So who's smarter?
#21 - Why I do not coach my kids anymore.

~ - a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Wednesday, 1 November 2017

All that glitters is not gold

I haven't blogged in a long time. I've been busy. So busy that I only had an hour to whip Kate's birthday party up, just before her little guests arrived.

Maybe my next post should be entitled, "How to prepare an awesome birthday party in under 60 minutes."

I was going to put up a pretty picture of her birthday party and dedicate the post to her.

Afterall she turned 5. What a sweet little milestone.
Best buddies
But you know, with so much going on in my life right now, it kinda feels like a lie to just shine the spotlight on that one bright moment while brushing everything else aside.

So, plot twist.

Life has been running at a breakneck speed. I'm working a full work week now but I can't complain because I love what I am doing - I just wish I had more hours in a day. Like triple the amount.

The folks are also getting old and this is the time where things shift from having help in ferrying the kids around to having to ferry them around. We've been so lucky to have had their limitless love and support from day 1 and now is where the care is to be reciprocated tenfold.

And when you are running so fast, being pulled in every direction, you wish that everything at home is going just great. That somehow, the kids are behaving beautifully, so that you don't have to worry and can concentrate on doing what needs to be done.

Unfortunately, having a current houseful of unpredictable and hormonal teenagers between the ages of 12 and 18 can make life very blustery.

One moment they are sweet, sensible, helpful young ladies, voicing opinions that I appreciate. Yet the next, they are moody or sensitive or in tears about something someone said.

My days are really long now. Our house seems to be running on two separate time zones. A too early morning start with noisy bickering younger ones while the other half of the house comes alive only when the sun blazes high (the kids in secondary school have already started their holidays. Already?)

These nocturnal animals who communicate in their own lingo are cheeriest between the hours of 8pm to midnight, and there's a mini party going on in the kitchen or their bathrooms most nights.

Then, they wake up grouchy. I asked a perfectly normal question with a smile, "Would you like to tell me your holiday plans now that school has ended?" Only to be answered with "Nope" and the offender casually resumed eating her breakfast.

And that was it! No explanation, no elaboration.


I need to keep calm and mother on, and re-present that question after 8pm.

No, actually, I gave it to her, telling her that it was an unacceptable answer and I expect a proper response.

It is tiring. Tiring to come home to little kids who need to be nurtured and watered, and big kids who look like they don't need you, pretend that they don't need you, but still need you as much as the little ones.

Maybe someone can tell me that it will all pass soon enough.

The truth is... this gig called parenting? It doesn't end. And it doesn't get easier. It gets - different.

So all I can do is to take a deep breath and mentally prepare myself for the long haul.

It's funny how people look at us bloggers with our shiny happy pictures and imagine that we live in a perfect world with model kids.

Honestly, how is that even possible?

Perhaps we should stop showing happy pictures of wannabe princesses and fake castles. But then again, we can't be snapping pictures of grouchy teens or quarreling siblings while in the midst of disciplining them.

So that in a nutshell, is our life at the moment.

Happy birthday my little one.

Life is magical when you are 5, isn't it?

~ - a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

The Giving Family Festival - TOUCH Community

Want to have fun, bond with the kids and do good?

Be part of TOUCH Community's 25th Anniversary celebration which promises lots of fun for the entire family!

Here's what you can expect:
  • Bumper rides
  • Game booths
  • Festival run
  • Snow time
  • Hands-on workshops
  • Live performances
  • Mouthwatering bites

Sure sounds like a whole heap of fun over the two days!

What's more, I'll be running a {GIVEAWAY}! Details at the bottom of this post.

WHAT: The Giving Family Festival

WHEN: 4 & 5 November 2017 (Sat & Sun) 10am to 9pm

WHERE: Singapore Sports Hub, OCBC Square

WHO: TOUCH Community Services

TOUCH Community Services is a non-profit charitable organisation dedicated to meeting the needs of the community. Over the last 24 years, they have been reaching out to individuals from all religions and races, including children, youth, people with special and healthcare needs and the elderly.

Your involvement will support the needs of more than 28,000 beneficiaries including vulnerable families, youth-at-risk, people with special needs and disadvantaged seniors.

Festive passes
Purchase your Festival coupons now at The Giving Family Festival

{GIVEAWAY} 10 Festive Passes up for grabs!

Each Festive Pass includes: 

*1 FREE Ride + 1 FREE Game + 1 FREE Hotdog*

5 Winners will be chosen at random - 2 Passes per Winner

All you have to do is hop over to my Instagram account to join the giveaway.

1. Follow @mummyweeblog on IG

2. Leave a comment, and tag at least 3 friends.

{Giveaway} Ends Sunday 22 October 2017 at midnight.

Let's do our part, and be part of The Giving Family!

See you there!

~ - A blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Wednesday, 4 October 2017

My daughter created a winning exam strategy

When #2 took her O levels last year, I knew it was a whole different ball game from preparing for the PSLE.

In 4 short years, they morph from caterpillars into butterflies. Beautiful individually formed strong characters, ready to flap their wings and fly.

But, along with the development of their unique and bold patterns, there are 3 areas we as parents have to come to terms with:

- They are no longer little children whom you can dictate to, and expect pure obedience (could we ever?!).

- Their phones are like an extension of their hand, which can't be forcefully extracted from them lest I am keen on igniting a war of wills. It can be used positively, or become a huge distraction.

- They have a life (with the prom being a few days away from the last paper not helping things at all) and their friends have a far greater sway than before.

I learned that it was futile to nag and scold, and I left her to figure out her own exam strategy. Instead, I watched from the sidelines and support and guide where necessary.

I made it a point to turn up for all her parent-teacher meetings, and was so heartened to see that her teachers were genuinely concerned for her. She was a child with a lot of potential, but she was very clearly an Arts student who loved her Literature and English subjects, but struggled with the Science subjects.

Her poor Chemistry teacher found it so hard to motivate her and even encouraged her to turn the boring formulas into songs and allowed her to bring her guitar to school to sing. When she received her results, she told me: "Mum, she was the only teacher who never gave up on me."

She devised this simple but effective strategy in the months leading up to the O levels.

She painstakingly wrote out every chapter of every subject on individual bits of paper, numbered and colour-coded them.

Once she had finished revising a chapter, she would move that piece of paper to the other side of the wall.

With this system, she demolished the chapters systematically. The brilliance lay in its visual cue, where you can see the number of chapters per subject left very clearly.

It was also highly motivating to see the bare side of the wall starting to fill up!

She was excited to take up the challenge of this crucial year and after the exams, she said, "It was actually quite fun to set my goals and study so hard." And her great achievement was sweet reward indeed.

I am pleased that my efforts over the past 15 years of guiding them to be independent learners have finally borne fruit.

And that I was able to give them a carefree childhood where tuition and assessment books are not a normal part of their lives, yet they have emerged to be driven and motivated teenagers.

School Stories:

#1 - When your son gets into fights in school
#2 - My son the loan shark
#3 - So kids can't play once they start school?
#11 - How #2 topped her level in English
#12 - DSA. Yet another initiative parents have warped
#13 - Tuition - First line of attack?
#14 - Why do exams have to be so stressful?
#15 - First day mix up!
#16 - The day I forgot to pick my son from school
#17 - No more T-score. Now what?
#18 - Tackling the new school year
#19 - She did it, without tuition.
#20 - So who's smarter?
#21 - Why I do not coach my kids anymore.

~ - A blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

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