Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Walking with God as a Christian Parent - my Interview

I am extremely humbled to have been interviewed by Dr Phillip Towndrow for his new book, Walking with God as a Christian Parent - Developing wisdom for the 21st century.

As Rev Ezekiel Tan puts it, "Raising a child today is more challenging than ever before, with an unprecedented range of influences and experiences making an impact on parenting decisions."

It is indeed not easy for parents to navigate the complex landscape our children are growing up in and with each of my 6 children, I am constantly learning something new.

At the heart of the book are 8 personal sharings of how God has worked in the lives of these parents, with lots of wisdom to be found.

Dr Towndrow expertly extracts the pertinent points, guiding readers to avail themselves of the insights and practical advice.
Walking with God as a Christian Parent
The 8 chapters include: Intentionally Passing on the Faith, Sowing Seeds Building Foundations, Sharing the Treasure I have Found, The Parenting Project, The importance of Presence, I cannot Fail, Discipline and Parenting, and my chapter is titled - Walking with God.

Here's an excerpt:

Michelle also has a deep grounding in God's divine provision. She explains her personal circumstances in simple yet impactful terms:

Even when it comes to my children and the schools they wanted to get into, my friends would ask, "Hey, what are your plans?" Everybody had plans. They would either send their kids to all kinds of tuition to get the necessary grades or they had other plans through sports or the arts.

I had no plans. I had total faith in God's provision of what was best for them. To me, kids should be kids. My third daughter just went into Secondary school this year. In the end, to everyone's amazement, she got in through DSA (Direct School Admission) in a sport she's never played in her life.


I remember the day we went to church and I prayed so hard. It was funny. I prayed for two things. To get into her sister's school, or a mission school. I wanted her to be involved in a sport that I didn't have to pay for. And she told me, if the appeal was granted after school had started, she didn't want to transfer. Within a few days our prayers were answered perfectly, just before school commenced.


And that's how I live. I know that things will be fine. If there's anything I need to discern, I simply go to the adoration room in church and pray about it, with all my heart and all my soul, and I will get my answer, either through people, through the psalms in Church with touch me deeply, or other signs. When my last child started preschool, I wanted to do some meaningful work. I had so many criteria - flexible timing, minimal work during the school holidays, working with passionate people in an area I was interested in. It seemed a long shot, as I had not worked much in the past 15 years. I prayed about it, and the most perfect opportunity came about, with all my criteria met!


I like how Dr Towndrow concludes each chapter with succinct summary points and discussion questions for us to ponder about.

One such example is this question: "How do you discipline your children? Do you make a distinction between discipline and love? Explain your answer."

I can see how this book would also be useful in small group discussion sessions.
Armour Publishing
I have been enriched by reading Dr Towndrow's new book and I'm sure you will be too.

I'll be happy to personally give away one copy to a lucky reader, please leave your details over at our Facebook page. Emails can be privately sent to mummyweedotcom@gmail.com.

Walking with God as a Christian Parenting is retailing at major bookstores @ $18.19. You can also purchase it online from Armour Publishing at a special web price of $15.46.

Wishing all a fulfilling parenting journey. Do your best and let God do the rest!


~ www.mummyweeblog.com - a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Kate's been having a rough time

For the past 2 weeks, Kate has been crying every morning when I drop her off at school.

It started because of a change of routine, as some days I could not pick her up after school when I was still at work.

It did not help that the first time the hubs had to pick her, he completely forgot about it! By the time he reached her school, he was half an hour late.

To a little child, 30 minutes feels like an eternity.

She later told me that she was afraid daddy had forgotten about her and left her in school. Besides, she was very, very hungry.

From that day on, she kept saying she didn't want to go to school anymore and would cry upon arriving at school.

We kept trying to talk her out of her fears and reason with her, to no avail.

After trying to problem solve for 2 weeks, I found out that she has 2 trigger points.
Poor lil Kate
The first is that she does not take to change well.

Her teachers explained that in children around 3 years of age, their sense of order is quite strong. More so in some children, and less in others. For Kate, she has a very strong need for order and her teachers mentioned how on Fridays, she gets out of sorts because they have music and outdoor play, which throws her out of whack.

Her teacher managed to solve this problem by giving her ample time for transition and to pre-empt her before a change in activity.

Thus the fact that it was a different person picking her up everyday, either myself, the hubs, or one of my sisters-in-law, made her anxious.

Her teacher said that like clockwork, at the start of their dismissal routine, she would suddenly burst into tears.

I solved the problem by letting her know the night before who was going to pick her up the next day. Initially, when she asked me in the morning, "Mummy, are you going to pick me later?" I would say yes, or I'll try. I didn't know what was behind that question, and that a vague answer made her more anxious.

I also asked whoever was picking her to be there 10 minutes early, so that once she started craning her neck to see if someone was going to be at the school gate, she would spot one of us before the fear seized her.

We did this for a week to reassure her and this stemmed her dismissal meltdown.

Secondly, I discovered that she is very sensitive to tone of voice.

Every time she cried, her teachers would try to gently talk her out of it. When that did not work, they must have talked to her in a firmer tone, and sometimes they got her to sit in the thinking chair in a corner so that she did not disturb the other children while she cooled down.

I'm quite certain that none of her teachers have really scolded her, but to her, even a raised tone is considered to be a "scolding".

It reached a point where I was asking her to do something and she replied, "Ok, I will do it, but can you ask Ms C not to scold me anymore?" When she responded that way the whole weekend, I knew something was wrong.

She was so fearful of her teacher!

After many, many little talks, she mentioned that she likes one of the new teachers, a soft-spoken, gentle lady.

I spoke to her teachers and they were very understanding, and stopped putting her on the thinking chair.

Whenever she started crying, the new teacher would sit with her and speak to her quietly.

Thankfully, that 2-week crying episode is over.

Even after 6 kids, I am learning something new every time.

I'm just glad I managed to resolve her worries and learnt more about her in the process.


~ www.mummyweeblog.com - a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~







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